Again, the missing crystal comes
to mind, dainty glasses so tiny that
one could crush a cordial glass in the palm of the hand. I reasoned that
one could crush a cordial glass in the palm of the hand. I reasoned that
I wouldn’t have left
them with the ex, even with my large heart U seem
to be so burdened by.
Why forgive all that cheating and betrayal,
name calling and
secrets? Because I want to practice what my father
taught me: Treat others
the same way you want to be treated. He didn’t
practice this, of course, but I
believe in the mantra. My vindictive mother
sipped Crème de menthe from
the tiny cut-crystal cordials, smaller
than the dolls she gave
me when I was entered fourth grade, her childhood
dolls, so lovely in their
crocheted dresses that my grandmother made.
Special to her, but I
would be careful, right? I immediately ironed their
hair to smooth it. Really, I take care
of my things, so where is the crystal
I so carefully wrapped when I
moved to Bellingham, the box lost some-
where along the way. But those
dolls, I still have them. The elastic bands
are brittle, their hair’s a whirlwind.
Their eyes no longer open and close
in sync, and their heads aren’t
on straight. Ha, that’s what my mother
used
to say, “My head isn’t
on straight.” And then she’d sip more cordial,
refilling the tiny crystal
stem multiple times, tugging hard on a menthol
at the same time. My friend called me recently, saying she was
cleaning
out her basement. The junk
men were coming, hauling everything away.
If I wanted my stuff,
come and get it. Ah, I found them at
last, the taped
U-haul box sitting atop
the cedar chest with the water-damaged lid. You
know how it is when you
go through a traumatic event, everything blurs
but the pain
in your heart. Your body knows the speediest way to heal,
to get through the pain
it must prioritize. The crystal is now unpacked,
beautiful cut glass stemware and bird-size sipping tumblers. Precious
because they were my mother’s. She loved all kinds of glassware: goblets,
because they were my mother’s. She loved all kinds of glassware: goblets,
cordials,
snifters, martini glasses, champagne flutes, and Old Fashioned.
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